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Snap Shot of one of my Internal Families
I am very grateful for my work with Joanne Gaffney using the Internal Family System (IFS) model. In making my version of one of our sessions this snapshot showed up. Who knew it would include a healing?
In IFS work one can not "see" the Self. Never the less when I went to represent what I had felt, the first image that came was the idea of the centered Self who has no agenda and is indeed centered in the wall hanging. Here, she has one regular eye through which to see the world and one magical eye to be able to see the parts clearly. She’s dressed in one of my favorite dresses and made of regular cloth.
In the session we met a protector who allowed us to meet two child parts that had become exiled so that they could stay loved and protected by my parents. They were into sending out love bubbles and were sad when the love bubbles were not returned.
To make the wall hanging I made the protector and the baby parts out of see-through salmon colored cloth. The Self holds one baby in a close comforting way while another sits exuberantly on her head and gives her the energy that it once held when it was exiled. He is busy exchanging love bubbles with a grandfather moon figure.
The protector needed a face, but he also felt shadowy so I covered the whole of him with the see-through salmon colored material. He wanted to stand right next to the Self rubbing shoulders but looking away, standing guard.
In IFS we meet the parts by going inside and seeing what comes up in the body. Parts begin to revel themselves through physical sensations, thoughts, colors, images, or memories. Often protectors move into a protective stance in front of exiles and they don't soften and step back until they feel they are in a safe relationship with Self energy. This one clearly was on guard but not communicating much beyond that.
So this wall hanging stayed for about three months.
Finally I got the idea that another figure was needed and I felt a child part of me who needed unburdening. It was a little girl I’d met when helping my granddaughter Zoe, who was 3 at the time, get dressed. We put on her tights and her shirt and then she wanted a skirt. So we found a short skirt and put that on. Now Zoe said she felt pretty. Then she went off to play on the slides and the playground.
Once they were holding hands I got the idea that the protector could sit down and he did so cross legged where he could still be connected to the Self energy. All he needed for this new position was a foot, easily made and given. But he also wanted to put up a cautionary hand to feel complete so I gave him one out of orange felt which he holds up in a protective gesture like a crossing guard. He seems happy in his new role and position.
It helps me to feel compassion toward the protectors within me when i look at this Snapshot of my Internal Family. Other parts may be upset with the protectors and want to fix them or get rid of them. But I appreciate that in IFS all parts are welcome and are here to serve us. It feels good to appreciate all my parts. They really calm down when I'm in this space of appreciation.
This snapshot took about six months to complete and it was finished in mid 2011.
I remembered how my mother would to dress me up to be pretty, but then she expected me to stay still so I wouldn’t damage my pretty clothes. This little one in me wanted to have it both ways like Zoe, pretty and able to enjoy playing too. Once I felt her she was easily made and naturally looked toward the Self. The Self needed another hand for this little girl so I made her one. (This Self has three arms and hands.)
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